It's Leap Day I'm In Love

We weren't exactly at our happiest when we met, but as far as I can remember, you gave a lift to my spirits just when I  needed it  most.

I can never say thank you enough to our common friends who went out of their leagues just so we could meet. Truth be told, I wasn't thrilled when I first met you. Aside from the lousy fact that you were initially just texting me and you didn't look good in photos (hehe), I just didn't like you albeit hearing all the good things about you.

I was accommodating at first because I was trying to be polite and to just ride along with our friends, but then your constant texts eventually ticked me off. Your attempts in meeting me in person didn't go down the drain though, you managed to manipulate and trick my friends into letting you see me. How conceited could I get?

After 2 weeks of your annoying persistence, we finally met in person, and the rest, as they say, is history. Boy do you look different in person! Waaaaayyyy different. People may think that I dwell on the physical, but so be it. They're right anyway. Haha I kid. 3 months later, we officially sealed the deal and here we are. We've celebrated our 1-year anniversary which was too awesome.

I just wanted to blog this day because it's a leap day. We may not be physically together but we're together and that's what counts. I pray I get to spend the next leap day and hopefully all the leap days of my life with you. I love you, Mr. Del Rosario. :)

HIRED

How dare you pay attention to this shallow post! Anyway, yep, I am hired as a writer/content developer and this post is one month too late. :))

For sparing me a little of your precious time, thank you. Whoever you are, I love you. I will help you one way or another. *giggles, hides behind a door*

Konfusion

Whoa. Just as I was about to start blogging about how embarrassed I am that I'm a bum, I just read how proud I was some months back. Pure irony. And I even promised in my previous blog that I would be blogging consistently, and I haven't. How useless can I get?

Well, for starters, I'm so much of a bum I don't even think I can blog properly! Augh! I hate this feeling!!! I hate my life!!! :(((

Nah. Just kidding. I don't hate my life. I love it, as a matter of fact. I'm just not proud of some things, my employment status, specifically, or lack thereof. Yes, you read right. I've graduated exactly 15 months ago, got the board exam results almost 5 months ago, and I haven't done anything relevant to my course thereafter. Not a single thing. No wait, I haven't done nothing at all! I'm that useless. No trainings, no job applications, no nothing!

My sister, albeit the fact that I love her and I miss her everyday because she's no longer around and I have no one to fight with, has been bugging me to death about applying for a flight attendant job. I think she's even more ashamed of me than I am of myself. Haha she told me she was once asked by one of her fellow flight attendants (I'm paraphrasing)... "Unsa ginabuhat sa imong manghod?" (What does you sister do?) and then she answers with "Tambay lang." I imagine her eyes rolling in shame. "Ha? Kagwapa niya. Nganong tambay lang man sya. Nganong dili man sya magapply ug FA."(She's soooo freaking beautiful, lovely, exceptionally pretty, stunning, awesome and all that!!! Why doesn't she try applying for an FA job?") And there goes my ate's proud face again.

My ate told me her job was physically, mentally, and emotionally draining. Nevertheless, I'm actually leaning towards it, instead of pursuing my course. But I don't know. I seriously don't know yet. I'm just really confused right now. And I'm just waiting for particular stuff to finish, that I wouldn't mention in here. And maybe then, I can decide. My excuse for now is that I'm young. I know I have to grow up sometime soon, very soon actually, but yeah, I'm gonna enjoy my last few months of being a carefree and unproductive mothereffing bum. Sometime soon, you'll be seeing my blog post entitled "Hired".

I pride myself on being a total bummer. How's that for starters?

I haven't been blogging lately. Not that I don't have anything interesting to write, it's just that... I don't know. I'm always out, I still have days to bum around in the house alone at times but they come few and far between. And blogging isn't always off the top of my head when I am in a lazy-ass mode. Mind you, I am in no way ranting about the way things are going for me. As a matter of fact, I totally love what has been happening to me in the past months. By far, I am at my most carefree living. I'm having the time of my life. Long story short, I am at my happiest.

Actually, I just wanted to make some readers jealous. Some are working their asses off at school or at work while I get to live the life. Well... Hahaha I kid!! No, seriously, I just want this blog post to be a start of the regular updates. From now, this blog will be up-to-date. I pinky promise. :))

Seriously, what's with men and zombies?

Admit it, he's pretty scary.

We all have our fair share of irrational fears. I remember how I despised dolls as a kid. Chucky, for that matter, is given special treatment. He never failed to give me the creeps thinking he is near in-fucking-vincible. It goes without saying that I've outgrown that silliness and it never bothered me again. Until recently, someone I know confided in me that we share the same fear. Only, he never seemed to grow out of it. hohoho :)) still makes me laugh! :D

Happy New Too-Much-To-Mention to me!

I had a pretty rough year. Er... Scratch that. I had a pretty tragic year. Tragic stuff mostly... and then some.

I graduated from college. Yay! No more student work, and a diploma to boot. Yay again! Spent months in review classes. Not much fuss about chasing down clinical instructors for signing, though. I managed to do that in just a few trips to the campus. And I took the NLE, which currently and incessantly keeps my fingers crossed. Experienced my first major heartbreak. Suffice it to say, it put tears to my eyes. But I lived! :P

Been pushed too far and got in a space where my judgment wasn't clouded anymore. Saw things like I never saw them before. Now I know how it feels to get your head off your ass. It makes it possible for rainbows to shoot out of it now.When you finally make it out of that rut, you get to realize how much you can give and how much happiness life has in store for you. Bad things happen so you appreciate the good things when they actually come. Trust me on this. I'm not saying my past was a total mishap, don't get me wrong. It served me well and made me grow the fuck up. I'm just gonna assume that it was my breeding ground for even deeper compassion. hohoho! As much as I'm embarrassed to admit it, I'm such a sucker for love! :D I will always keep in mind some lessons though so I'll be fine.

 

I'm feeling jumpy as I blog because of that one special person. My "sunshine" after the rain. The best thing that ever happened to me in 2010. I guess it wasn't so tragic after all. I guess now I don't have to love myself alone! :)

There. Now you get the picture of what's hot and what's not in my previous year. Happy New Year, Bitches! :)

what happened to always and forever?

Since I'm avoiding putting up as a status on Facebook my sentiments on what I'm currently going through, I figured I'll just blog about it. I know I've had occasional outbursts of my fuming rage, but social networking sites just never fail to get the best of me. It was inappropriate and not to mention, tacky, I know, and that, I'm sorry for.

I've spent days doing what a depressed person normally does, and I've taken every desperate measure just to win you back. I must say that this, by far, is the greatest dilemma I've ever had. I don't know if I should wait, or if I, too, should move on and know what's out there for me. The latter makes me sick. Even though you stomped on my heart and left me for dead, I still can't imagine being with someone else. Let alone loving someone else. But I'm not putting any pressure on you, you can go do what you want without me to hold you back. You gotta do what you gotta do.

What keeps me up at night is the thought of you with your hypothetical new girlfriend. You see, I've been wanting to go there and surprise you, maybe then I'll know the real deal between us. But I'm afraid you might also surprise me with your hypothetical new girlfriend, not necessarily prettier and smarter hypothetical new girlfriend. As cocky as it may sound, I believe I can fight a good fight in that department. But she's near you, physically, so I don't stand a chance against her. She wins by default, your hypothetical new girlfriend.

Surprisingly, I don't have the urge to get even. You must really mean to me. I just think destiny is funny, hilarious, as a matter of fact. It's cracking me up. It's like I've planted a hell lot of seeds, and just when I'm about to harvest them, someone burnt my farm down to ashes. 

They say I must enjoy my youth to whatever extent, but I can live it up without having to test the waters. That is not and never will be my thing, so thank you very much. By the way, the last thing I want to hear is a big fat "I told told you so."

God knows how I wanted this, how I prayed every single night since we got together some 5 years back. I put my life on pause because I know the temporary highs are nothing compared to the high I might get when we're finally together. It breaks my heart to think someone else  now will be the center of your world. She will get to be with you every minute she wishes to, eat at fancy restaurants with you, you will bring her to family affairs, she will go on trips with you, you will pick her up and drive her home, you will spend the day bumming around with her in your condo, you will have nights out together, she will kiss you and you will kiss her back, she will be yours and you will be hers. Things that kept me through all the times I wanted a touch instead of a text, a real kiss instead of a mfwah on the phone, to touch your face instead of the monitor. It kept me tough because I know someday we will have it good. I just always thought I'd be the girl in the scenarios I've mentioned above. I'm keeping my hopes sky high, but I am not expecting any. So don't worry about me.

I'm blogging at my own risk, actually. I know someway, somehow, this is gonna get to you. This might anger you even more or you might just not give a damn but so be it. I'm at my all-time low, and I've been keeping mum, so I'm entitled to this. I know you're not crazy about baring the soul on the Internet, but I find it therapeutic, just to get things off my chest.

 

Remember this? It says on the note that you're the pink bear. So... until the pink bear finds some other bear to hug.